I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
