Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
