I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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