Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
