the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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