with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
