so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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