I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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