no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize