Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
