just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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