i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
