check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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