it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
