I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
