Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
