dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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