fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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