so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
