This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
