I puked a lego.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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