Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
