Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
