yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
PANTIES FOUND
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