Kiss
Puke
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
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