i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize