I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
