my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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