but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
they're like a gay fantastic four
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.