its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores