Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
