i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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