so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
