Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
