I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
True but thats because hes a fetus.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
