This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
