Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
