Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
