Just mADE A PArabola og urine
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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