I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
