Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
