ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
