He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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