They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
