apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
