i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
