I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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