It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
