Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
