toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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