Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
