He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
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Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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