this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
