I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
