Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
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All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
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Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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