bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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