Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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