I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
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It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
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FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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