Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
